i cnat bleieve thsi. unbelebabl 

I have 99 problems and Bro is all of them 

There’s this itch at the back of my throat I think my years of smoking have caught up to me. Hopefully I’ll sound like Darth Vader 

I think a twink died. The moans have stopped. I can finally rest. Amen. 

cl0ckworkreversal:

my mom told me to stop being like vegetables 

I’m naming my first son Deimos now who wants to father my child 

Let me tell you the story of my first blowjob now kids